Updated: Sep 14
"Find Your Peace and Then Everything Will Fall into Place"
Imagine this: You're a mom standing on a set of train tracks, desperately trying to get your kids to safety. But they don't seem to hear you, or maybe they're just not listening. Panic washes over you as you see a train racing toward them, and your world starts crumbling. Your heart sinks, your breath catches, and you feel a wave of nausea. It's a nightmare, and it feels all too real.
These intrusive thoughts were like constant companions, tormenting and unrelenting. Dark scenarios played out in my mind – terrifying images of my child getting hurt or the irrational urge to do something harmful during moments of frustration.
Tears welled up as I wondered,
"Why won't these thoughts just leave me alone?
What did I do to deserve this torment?"
I smiled through the pain....
Life had already thrown enough challenges my way – a child with special needs, a grueling journey through my child's brain surgery and disability, and my own battle with cancer. Hadn't I endured more than my share of hardships? In the quiet moments, I'd silently ask the universe, "Is this normal? Am I alone in feeling this way?"
First and foremost, I want you to know this: You are not alone in these thoughts. If you've ever found yourself searching Google for ways to find relief, you've probably come across advice like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, medication for severe cases, challenging those thoughts, or not suppressing them. The list of suggestions is endless.
Being a mom can come with its fair share of challenges and stressors. One of these challenges that many moms face is dealing with intrusive thoughts. These unwelcome and distressing thoughts can cast a dark shadow over the joys of parenting.
In this blog, we'll explore how moms can effectively manage intrusive thoughts and reclaim their peace of mind.
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing, and often irrational thoughts that pop into our minds without warning. They can take various forms, from worries about our children's safety to fears of being a bad parent. These thoughts can be relentless, leaving us feeling anxious, guilty, or overwhelmed. It's crucial to understand that these thoughts are a normal part of the human experience and do not define you as a parent.
But here I am in 2023, with intrusive thoughts now a rare occurrence, maybe once every few months.
How did I get here?
It was a journey of self-growth, self-discovery, and gaining profound knowledge, leading to a deep sense of self-awareness. If I had only known earlier that these thoughts not only controlled my mind but also kept me from living a fulfilling life, I would have shared my experience sooner. Yes, you, the mom filled with worry, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, stuck, lost, and wondering if there's more to life – I want you to know that it all begins with a simple declaration:
"Enough is enough. I need to take control."
As Mel Robbins wisely said, "No one is coming to push you to turn off the TV or stop eating that junk food. You have to push yourself!"
So, let's dive right in, and as you read this, keep in mind: "Wellness is possible, and it happens one step at a time," as Dr. Perry reminds us.
1.First, be honest with yourself. To guide you on this journey, I strongly recommend reading "What Happened to You?" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah. Understanding any childhood trauma is the starting point. Knowledge is the key, and it leads to compassion when you shift your perspective from asking, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?"
Changing your mindset takes time; it's a process.
2.Begin by observing yourself closely, like a hawk!. Another valuable resource is Emotional Intelligence 2.0 a book by Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greaves.Learn as much as you can about yourself. Recognize your emotions and guard your newfound mindset. Be cautious about who you share your journey with because not everyone will understand the changes you're going through.
3.Connect with people who genuinely care about you. Healing begins with small moments of connection where you feel safe sharing your experiences. You control the length of these conversations. Finding your community will be a significant part of your healing journey. Social connections build resilience, and resilience helps post-traumatic wisdom which leads to hope.
4.Discover what naturally soothes and calms you. Whether it's taking leisurely walks, dancing, swimming, drawing, or anything else that brings you peace – these activities can help you transition from a state of high anxiety to a more tranquil one. When we're constantly stressed, our brains shut down the rational part, leading to anxiety and depression. Regaining balance is crucial.
5.Let's call it "self-nurturing" instead of self-care. Consider what you'd like to improve about yourself. For me, it was the texture of my skin. I wanted my face to look fresher, and I desired softer skin on my body. So, I researched products and started a skincare routine. After a few tries, I felt the difference, and it became a part of my daily life. Consistency was key because when my skin felt softer, I felt better, more confident, more desirable, and ultimately more productive in my business due to increased energy.
This is a fantastic starting point for your journey, and I promise to share more about mine. Reading has been a lifeline for me because knowledge expands your perspective and empowers you.
It makes you more self-aware, resilient, and adaptable, paving the way for personal and professional success.
As a fellow mom, let me share this heartfelt message: If you're waiting for motivation, remember that it may not always show up on time. What you truly need is the strength of discipline, not just fleeting inspiration. Picture the moment when you've had enough of those persistent doubts, when you're ready to embrace change for yourself and your loved ones. In the words of Mel Robbins, "No one is coming to push you!" It's time for you to be the guiding light, to tap into the unwavering determination within you, and carve out a path that leads to a brighter future for both you and your family.
So pick up those books "What happened to you" and " Emotional Intelligence 2.0", start your journey, and please leave a comment to let me know if this was helpful. I'm also happy to share my skincare routine if anyone's interested. Keep coming back for more because I am not just a mom; I am a warrior with five amazing boys (including our furry friend), a dedicated parent to a special needs child, and a determined business owner who's constantly reaching for new horizons. It's important to know that my journey started from a place where I could barely get out of bed, overwhelmed by the weight of depression and anxiety. I was on long-term disability and felt like life was a constant uphill battle. But I want you to understand that there is a way out of that darkness, and there's a world of opportunity waiting for you, just as it was for me. You deserve more than you might believe. You are not just a mom; you are a force of nature with a purpose waiting to be discovered. I'm here to be your guiding light on this incredible journey of self-discovery and empowerment!
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